Wolfsbane
by thebrownwerewolf
Summary: Remus' first night under Wolfsbane potion


**WHAT IS THIS! THEBROWNWEREWOLF IS ALIVE! Why yes, I am! ^^. I have been very much alive over on Deviant Art ^^. Since the last update I have gained and lost a boyfriend, completed my second year at uni, been sent home home from uni home due to a mental breakdown, found out I was actually pagan and got my life in order, a lot happens in half a year :). Anyhoo, new story for y'all :), just to prove my aliveness **

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed :). Although I don't have time to reply to them all, know I read EVERY ONE and hug, hold and treasure them all :). You are the best :)**

**Set when Remus was teaching at Hogwarts**

**Remus is not mine...sadly...*sniff***

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The pain stopped as suddenly as it had started.

The fierce, sharp pain that had surged through his body at the moons appearance just stopped.

His tongue lolled out of his muzzle. He could hear the steady beat of his breath, along with the slowing beat of his heart as it got steadily over the shock of stopping. The muted feeling of the floor as it rubbed against his fur covered body.

He would have to do it sooner or later.

What was he expecting? What would happen now?

'_Just do it, open your eyes Remus, It can't be that bad'_

Greenish, golden eyes snapped open. A muted palette of purples and greys appeared where colour had been before. He could see now, whereas before, in the gloom of his office, he could not.

It was weird, unnatural even, to be here. He didn't like it very much.

'_But it is better than the alternative'_

He had to agree with himself.

He rolled so his feet _'paws' _were underneath him, and then he pushed down, raising his new lupine body.

Except it wasn't new, it was old. Whereas his expectations were that he would be shaky on his four paws, his body raised with lupine grace.

'_My body is used to this; it has done this hundreds of times before'_

The revelation almost knocked him to his feet again, the thought of his body doing this without him. It was sickening to be faced with this startling reality.

He stretched his spine, the kinks in it popping delightfully in a way that no human spine could ever achieve. He shook himself.

Tongue lolling out again, he looked around the room. The window was clearly visible, framing a beautiful, silver light. He had to look, he had to.

One paw placed in front of the other, again with apparent, unnatural ease. He did not like this, but it was better for everyone. Maybe it would get better with time.

Reaching the window, he gazed across the ground. He saw couple in the trees, obviously breaking the rules to enjoy the 'romantic' moonlight. He could feel a tug in his mind and his brain fogged for a moment.

'_NO! NOT PREY, Students!'_

Even with the potion he was not safe. His heart sank.

It was time.

Pulling his gaze up, he saw her and a strange yet familiar pulse ran through his body at the sight.

It was her

She who had haunted his whole life

She was beautiful

And he hadn't seen her since he was 5 years old.

If he could, he would have wept.

It seemed stupid, after all, Remus Lupin didn't cry at trivial things. But he couldn't help it. Here he was, staring at the full moon as himself. As Remus Lupin, almost what he desired

'_Almost'_

_He _was still there, lurking in the background. He could feel it in every shout of laughter a student made, every smell that permeated the castle, every student he could see in the grounds.

_He _was always there

Remus turned around and stopped suddenly, wishing he hadn't.

There, reflected on the opposite wall, was a huge slightly misshapen wolf.

He was in shock.

Here was the proof that he really was a werewolf.

Of course he knew he was a werewolf, he had the symptoms, the pain of transforming, the cuts, the wolf permanently tugging at his mind and now, a very lupine feeling body.

'_But still, the evidence wasn't conclusive, it was nice to hope'_

That hope was shredded.

Remus twitched his tail, and for an instant, the tuft came into view. The pupils, no longer round, but more fox like, bored into his and his automatic snarl at the sight of the wolf..._those teeth._

Remus approached the mirror, his coat looked grey to him, but he had been told, moons ago, that his fur matched his hair colour. His eyes held a spark that was completely him, and he could swear that he could recognise his facial features in the wolf.

It was shocking. It was heartbreaking. It hurt.

He wasn't a man at all. He wasn't human. It was just a mask, a lie.

Anger pulsed through him and, before he could think, he had wheeled around and crashed his back legs through the mirror.

Shards of mirror rained down, each reflecting the moon in all her haunted glory and a single lonely wolf wept through the night.

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**Well that was my little experimentation on Remus' first full moon under wolfsbane :). I hope you like :)**

**NOW REVIEW...please... :)**

**TBW**


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